Worst. Dog Toy. Ever?
So today I dropped a cool $124 and change on supplies at Costco. Eggs, facial tissue, olive oil … that sort of thing. I impulse bought a door mat for $19. Okay, so I’ve needed one for a couple years now. But it’s not a necessity.
On the one hand I suppose I need to be cautious, what with price inflation just starting to blow up. If I were smart I’d probably split for two tons of toilet paper. There’s something that’s going to continue to be in demand. Of course, a year from now that door mat’ll probably be worth a million dollars. Then again, a decent scavenged wood screw will go for more than my current net worth.
… Anyway, the mat’s going right back, it turns out. It’s huge. It’s not so much a welcome mat as a porch carpet. Ah, well. Shoulda read the specs closer.
Meanwhile … to actually talk about the nominal subject of this post … I saw what struck me as a leading contender for Worst Dog Toy Ever: the Plush-Toy Skunk.
Um. Leaving aside the cliché in the room, skunks are redoubtable predators who can quite savagely rip on a dog with powerful claws as well as teeth.
And now, not leaving aside the obvious … hello: they’re skunks?
Do you really want to accustom your dog to the idea it’s a good idea to play with them? What’s next? Cuddles the Rattlesnake? Mr. Sparky the Chewable Electric Cord?
It’s like giving your kid a Bath-Buddy Toaster.
Among the other somewhat bizarre and variegated wildlife we’ve got in my neighborhood, there indeed are skunks. How do I know? Well - and you’re not going to believe this, I know - I’ve smelled them. Especially in the Spring.
Love. It’s in the air, baby.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:19 am
NO KIDDING!
That is exactly why Guinevere and Eowyn do not get any toy shaped like an animal I don’t want them near. It is also the reason they have no toys shaped like SHOES or BOOKS or the REMOTE CONTROL or the CELL POHNE or any other article in my possession that they might mistake for something-good-on-which-to-gnaw-because-they-have-a-toy-that-looks-just-like-it. (because I have seen toys shaped like all of the above!)
THANK YOU, VIC! I am so glad to know that I am not alone in this aversion!
February 28th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Always a pleasure, Sara.
Actually, the aversion only seems like common sense to me. And your additions make sense too. I’ll make sure to avoid those shapes of dog-toys as well.
For that matter I don’t give Emma stuffed toys, because, not to put too fine an edge on it, I have stuffed toys, which she by-Gods better not tear up. And if people have problems with the concept that a Manly Action Adventure Writer has stuffed toys, they can learn to deal.
As for those who think it’s unreasonable to deny their dogs skunk-shaped stuffies, I hope they enjoy having their pets come in the house some day in such a state they’ll want to soak ‘em down in raw sewage, just to cut the smell.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
Lucky for me Guinevere has learned the finer points of “Mama’s toys” and “Guinevere’s toys.” Sadly, the new puppy has not. So back onto the top shelf of the closet go my collection of foxes.
And I think Manly Action Adveture Writers and the like should have plush toys. It sheds light on the vulnerable side that made women get all weak in the knees. ^_~
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Um, ah … well. Um.
Hey, ladies! Hear that? I have stuffed toys! Manly yet vulnerable, that’s me.
(Actually, I think everybody should have stuffed toys. They fill a definite need.)