Christmas Blues: TracFone = NoPhone

12/25/08 – Well, the big day is here. Merry Christmas everybody!

Overall things do well here: the pets and I are all okay, my friends seem to be healthy. It’s good.

I am peeved, however, over my woes trying to get cell phone service restored.

Apparently on Sunday while walking Emma on the ditch west of my house I lost my old TracFone. I’d had it since Autumn 2005 and was generally very happy with it. I also found myself quite dependent on it, for things such as keeping track of friends I was meeting up with, and of course times my car broke down. So I was quite distressed to lose it.

Monday, after confirming it was gone (by the reliable method of calling the number and trying to hunt down the ring) the Em and I retraced our steps: no luck, although we enjoyed another pleasant walk.

Trying to buy a new one led to a lot of wasted motion. I finally ascertained what I wanted to replace my little lost pod phone was a Motorola W376g – basically similar to their no-longer-trendy Razr. With double minutes for life (TracFone is a pay-as-you-go service), Bluetooth capability, and a camera it represented a big upgrade over my beloved old phone, and would cost 10 bucks more than I paid for it (unless I was dumb enough to buy it at Kmart, which charges $50 for a phone TracFone’ll sell you online for $30.) I found one at the good price at Radio Shack.

Plus it’s a flip-phone. Laugh if you will, ye who have had a flip phone since Napoleon was still a corporal; long and long have I desired one. Think: “Scotty, beam me up.”

So anyway, the next step was to activate it. Because I’d reported the old phone lost Monday, when I found out about it, I couldn’t take care of that online. Then began the Great Siege.

Update, 12/29/08: The Rest of the Story – Whoa! First first: finally got the new phone running, with my old number, no less. Huge relief!

I started this post on Christmas Day. Life, plus fatigue, intervened to keep it incomplete. Among other distractions (such as, well, Christmas) I’m about to finish the rewrite on the latest Annja book and ship it off: yay.

Anyway, back to the narrative and synopsizing: I called and waited and called and waited. Couldn’t even start the process the night I got the new phone – Tuesday – because TracFone customer service only operates 9AM-9PM, in what time zone I never ascertained. Wait, I thought it was like morning in Mumbai when it’s nighttime here. Also, WTF? A phone co without 24/7/366 (check your calendar) service?

Oh, well/ TracFone’s a cheap service. I’m told Verizon actually has a local service center and holds your hand; it also costs a boatload more. I understand that when one goes discount one must make certain concessions.

But not this many. When I tried to fire up the new phone and transfer my minutes, beginning Wednesday (just what I wanted to do Christmas Eve!) was when the fun truly began. It kept not activating and not activating; I kept calling and nice Indian people, some with fairly thick accents, politely put me off.

Then I was told the SIM card for the new phone had been associated with the old phone – which had somehow been reactivated, listed as stolen, and locked. Thus the new SIM card, which came with my brand-new phone, was locked and could not be activated at all – basically bricked.

Right. I don’t get it, either.

The upshot was that I needed yet another SIM card. Either I could exchange the phone – lots of luck, since this was the only one I could find at a decent price – or wait 3-5 days for a new SIM to be shipped to me. Arrgh!

Subsequently, in response to an email complaint I sent them about the whole mess, I was told it could take 7 days to get me the new card. Good times!

But Saturday brought a bit of relief in the form of an email to the effect that the card had been shipped DHL and was due 12/29, this being today. And lo! It landed on my doorstep about 11;30 AM.

Dreading what I must now undergo I dragged my heels before calling in. Per the instructions from the last CSR I asked immediately to escalate to a supervisor, which seemed to miff the woman who took the call. Shortly I was speaking to a pleasant young woman who called herself Hannah (or Anna) Marie. Speaking English with a much-less perceptible accent would appear to be a mark of supervisor status. Anyway we got the process started – and she told me I might have to wait 72 hours for the phone to activate with my old number.

As you might imagine I chirped a bit about that. I’ll add that I kept calm and didn’t swear or rave – yeah, I know: hard to believe. But I always try to deal with people in these situations calmly and politely. 1) I’ve been there – I did phone tech support in 2000-2001; 2) It’s the decent thing to do; 3) and most important: Victor’s First Law of Fine Dining: Be Polite to Your Server Unless You Enjoy Piss-Flavored Soup. I think we understand one another.

However a bit of squeaking persuaded Hannah Marie to guide me through a process whereby I’d enter lengthy number-strings she read to me, and in return I wouldn’t have to wait three more days to use a phone I bought last week. Which seemed a decent exchange.

Most importantly, as indicated above: it works!

So yes, folks, I’m mobile once more. And yes, Ms. Sara, I do indeed have the same number. Thanks for asking.

Oh – had a fine Christmas; hope you did the same. Hung out with my pal Joe most of the day. Did solo Christmas dinner at Furrs, which was deeply okay: I got the things I craved, these being turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy, and corn. Not the best Christmas dinner I’ve had but far better than the fancy hotel buffet I spent three times as much for a couple years ago. I was happy. Then I went to Steve and Kathy’s house, which they kindly opened for the usual SF bunch suspects (they’re really excellent people), and we hung out and watched a Futurama Robot Claus episode (“Santa Claus is gunning you down!”) and the Robot Chicken Christmas Special and my all-time favorite Christmas movie (what else but Die Hard?) Which still totally rules, twenty years on.

We also exchanged presents. I, one thing or another, had none yet to give (but I will, once this darned book’s delivered.) I got many wonderful presents indeed from my fine friends. Plus I got to spend Christmas with my voluntary extended family. Which is what meant the most to me.

(If that sounds hokey, let it. I’m fifty-four years old and live alone but for my pets, who are also my family. When my life crashed in ruins in 2000 my animals, my friends, and my fans very literally kept me alive with their emotional support. So that sort of thing means a lot to me.)

So now I’m back and I’m bad. Or at least I can keep touch with friends I’m trying to meet up with and call AAA if my car breaks down, knock wood it won’t. Other than that I’m probably no worse than before. Now I’m gonna go finish the darn book and take a few deep breaths.

Happy New Year, everybody!