I’ve started to read my writing aloud as I rewrite it. It’s one of those things I don’t know why I’ve not been doing all along. Both perceptive audience members at my readings and the amazing Critical Mass writers group advised me to try it. It helps.
As I think I’ve mentioned (although I can’t find it now) I had a problem the last couple of years with overly-long and complex sentences. It bothered me. Yet I had no idea how to stop doing it. My writers group pals offered advice that helped me to do so quite expeditiously once I flat-out asked for help. And one of their suggestions was to read through everything aloud. If the tongue tended to stumble, that was a good place to trim or reapportion.
I mention this briefly now because in rewriting a chapter of The Dinosaur Lords (it’s happening!) I thought of phrase to describe sunset light splashing on:
…the steep slate slopes of roofs.
Now, that seemed a fresh and evocative way of putting it. Then I tried reading it aloud. Whoa! After five tries it was still like going down an uneven staircase in the dark.
Of course there’s nothing complex or convoluted about the phrase. But it is, it turns out, a Hell of a tongue-twister.
So there’s another tool for your chest.
Another way to avoid the heartbreak of unending and confusing sentences is to dictate. This is something I’ve experimented with off and on for a quarter-century. What I intend to do, later on today when I get back to writing o n the action/adventure novel, is fire up my Dragon NaturallySpeaking software and try to get back to that. I’ll let you know how that comes out.
Update, 11/23/2009 5:15:42 PM: Over on Twitter, Bosque Bill sagely asked what I’d replaced the above phrase with. It was:
“the slate of steep-pitched roofs”
You deserve to know, I belatedly realize. Thanks, BB!
Popularity: -0% [?]
