Yes, it’s official: my head is shrunk!
At least to an appropriate size.
As I may’ve mentioned, I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. While I was in the hospital I was diagnosed as suffering from severe clinical depression. What with one thing or another, I couldn’t argue with that.
So today I had my last session. Why’s that? Because my shrink, his mentor, and I all agreed I didn’t need them anymore.
Basically, I seem to be headed in the right direction. I’m acquiring the tools to do what I need to do, and using them appropriately.
I had to ask a question: it was my impression that clinical depression was currently believed to have mainly physical causes. Which made me wonder, how come I am, to all evidence, getting better? I mean, yeah, almost dying. That’s pretty big, sure. But like turning some kind of switch in the brain?
What my doctor said was that, yes, there’s evidence for the physical hypothesis as a cause for severe depression. Also, there’s evidence for what I believe he called cognitive processes: thoughts and feelings.
Which makes sense to me. We’re complex critters. With some of us it’s going to be more of one, in some the other. One size never fits all.
I guess I just needed basis to feel that the progress I’ve made – internally, corroborated by external evidence – can somehow be real. Yeah, I know a thing that’s real is so whether or not there’s a conventional explanation for it. Still. I feel more confident if there’s an explanation for it.
Even if it’s, you know, wrong.
Things aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect. And perfectionism is something I’ve been striving to cure myself of.
I’m getting better. Doing better. Doing more. I’m headed in the right direction.
And the odds look good I’ll stay that way. Fingers crossed. And – yay!
Finally, for some reason I’m not comfortable outing my shrink, big a help as he’s been. Maybe I should ask him. Maybe I will.
But for now – thanks, Dr. Pedro!
===
In other tidings, and as a follow-up to yesterday’s post, say hello to my little friend my shiny new Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/vicmilan.
Oh, and WordPress? If your software doesn’t support display of certain characters, why the freak does it offer them in the “Insert custom character” option in your menu bar?
Popularity: 8% [?]
<3
Glad to hear that body, mind, and spirit are on the mend!
Addendum….
When I was sick for the entire month of January, then recovering well into March, I can definitely say that were I to have been evaluated, I’d have been diagnosed as clinically depressed too.
When the body doesn’t function like it should, the psyche is inevitably going to suffer.
Echoing my previous statement, so glad to hear all is well at Chez Vic.
Thanks, Sara!
I totally forgot how desperately ill you were in January. I believe I’ve got a good excuse.
You’re quite right that body malfunctions cause mental disruptions.And by the time I went in the hospital my brain chemistry had been screwed up for quite a while, apparently, from out-of-control blood sugar and possibly sepsis. (I don’t know how long that latter had been in place, because I’m not sure how long one can survive it; I suspect “not very.”)
That said, however long my blood chemistry was messed up, my depressive behavior had lasted far longer. I know I had chronic low-grade infections for years. But this ran deeper.
However it came about, I seem to be in a much better place now. As my shrink said, both in terms of my continued improvement and for world domination with The Dinosaur Lords, “I think this is going to happen. It is happening.”
Thanks again – there can never be too much – to you and my other wonderful friends, who literally saved my life and gave me so much to live for!