Sense of Adventure

Okay, in response to thunderously absent popular demand, here’s one more bit on the Superbowl.

It’s the last. I promise. Really.

The real story was how the New York Giants defense just bulldozed the Patriots’ secret (or at least seldom-acknowledged) weapon: possibly the best offensive line in history. Sure, much as it pains me to admit it, Perfect Tommy is a great quarterback. Having Randy Moss (and the previously unsung Wes Welker) to throw to doesn’t hurt your offense either.

But I think the main reason the Patriots put up record offensive numbers this year was its first-line defenders of the “skill” (or at least the headline) players. Time and again throughout the season Brady had jaw-dropping amounts of time to stand back and wait for one of his receivers to get clear. And with receivers such as he had, they did.

But for the first time all year we saw defenders running through the Patriot O-line as if they were the 2006 Raiders. Brady seemed to get knocked on his kiester every other play.

And why was that? Well, granted, the Giants defense played like gods most of the game. But the Patriots offensive line played like gods for 18 games.

Now think back to what the Patriots were known for. Not just playing the starters every game to try to ensure they never lost; there are good arguments made that those teams who obviously coast to rest their starters after they have home-field clinched for the playoffs tend to check out early during thoe selfsame playoffs. The Colts did it this year, and they’ve done it before.

But the Pats didn’t just start trot their stud horses out to start every game, or even just leave them in until victory was reasonably assured. Remember what more they did, especially early in the season? They ran up the score like a football-factory college team.

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Just a few moments ago it seemed to me I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror.

Then I realized it was only Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, screaming in anguish that the Patriots just lost the Superbowl.

Heh, heh.

Those predictions: the next Sports Guy column will have the theme, “We wuz robbed.” The one after will explain in great detail why the Patriots are still the Greatest. Team. Ever.

As for me … for the first and most likely the only time in my life I rooted for the Giants. I do not like the Patriots.

Okay. On to a subject at least a couple of my readers may actually give a carp about…

Was this an epically lame year for Superbowl commercials, or what? It wasn’t until the FedEx pigeon courier ad that I laughed or even cracked much of a smile. Perhaps the most egregious was the early animated Ad Genie commercial: not simply because it was completely lacking in interest, but because for a company that purports to sell its services as marketing experts to lack so completely any sense of what makes a successful Superbowl ad - humor, wit, the moondog bizarre, anything different - would seem to be nothing short of disaster.

One of the more amusing ad series was actually Fox’s own, featuring their new football robot mascot getting the grease kicked out of him by the Terminator, to plug their new series, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. It looked toward the end as if perhaps more robot jocks (but not those robot jocks) were going to gang up on Ol’ Chromebones -

- But my cable company lost the signal. With about eleven minutes to go in the fourth. And didn’t get it back until just before the Giants’ game-winning touchdown. That meant that I would’ve missed the two earlier lead-changing touchdowns, if I hadn’t finally found the signal on my little portable telescoping-antenna TV, so that I watched some of the most amazing Superbowl action in the history of the game on a three by four inch black & white screen. Way to roll, Comcast!

Anyway, that was wild. Sorry, but you’ll have to wait a bit for an after-action report on yesterday’s Wild Cards related hijinks. Quick summary: they rocked.